To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.

What did the kindergartener say when his teacher caught him picking his nose?

What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?

Why did the peach buy deodorant?

Why did the patient think his doctor was lying about his diagnosis?

What would happen if James Bond started making pickles?

Why was the goat sad when her son went to college?

What's a ghost's favorite work schedule?

Why are cause and effect so close?

Where do frogs keep their money?

Why are scissors so forgiving?

Which wizard is often mistaken for an animal?

What does a cat go to sleep on?

What does the cow say when her kid closes the barn door?

What dog is the most self-conscious about its weight?