My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him..

Who do puppies wait for on Christmas Eve?

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

What did the snake name his daughter?

What Washington D.C. landmark is great at punctuation?

Why did the Secret Service bring a herd of cows to the White House?

What's a bear's favorite movie?

What is a ghost's favorite movie?

Why do rodents make the best runners?

Where do automobiles have picnics?

Which football team has the coolest helmets?

What do goats say to make their kids laugh?

Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow?

Which dog dreams of being a matador?

What did the cashier ask the herbalist at the checkout?