Why did the clock get first place in the marathon?

What's the friendliest pen?

Knock knock. Who's there? Euripides. Euripides who?

Why are air conditioners always out of breath when it's hot out?

What did the person with a broken leg say to their valentine?

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

What animal has the most fun?

Why do porcupines always win the game?

What kind of food does work on an apartment building?

How did the baby tell her mom that she had a wet diaper?

Who always has a date on Valentine's Day?

Where can you find the most stressed-out parents?

How do you talk to a giant?

What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.