What occurs twice in a lifetime, but only once in a year, twice in a week, but never in a day?

What did the tree say to its long-distance girlfriend?

Why does the photon not need a suitcase?

What happens when grass goes out of town?

Where does Taco Bell serve in the US government?

What did people say about Helium after he made everyone laugh at the party?

What's the difference between a dolphin and a whale?

What is it called when a cat throws a temper tantrum?

Why don't poodles brush their teeth?

What did Santa bring to the potluck?

What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year?

Why did the chicken cross the net?

Why can birds afford a house in this economy?

What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?

What's the hardest holiday to forget?