Why are English teachers so smart?

What do you call a pencil that has two erasers?

Why don't math teachers like conspiracy theories?

What's the best thing to put into a pie?

What animal dresses the most fashionably?

Why was everyone scared of the frozen peas?

What should you say to your sister when she's crying?

What do you call Grandpa when he's in a bad mood at the beach?

Which relative loves rice?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

What nut can you never use a credit card to buy?

What do you say to the tree frog who needs a lift?

Why did the sailor lose his job?

What's the politest month?

What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?