How did the border collie's owner know that it borrowed his book?

When Sunday and Monday get into a fight, who typically wins?

Why did the thief wear blue gloves?

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final?

What do an English major and a football player have in common?

Why did the lamb cross the road?

Why did the sausage quit playing baseball?

What's black and white and red all over?

We tried to teach our cows how to be actors.

What's a bodybuilder's favorite food at Thanksgiving?

Who is a bread-maker's favorite singer?

Why did the snowman look through a bag of carrots?

What did the angry customer say to the mechanic who couldn't figure out what was wrong with his car?

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino?

What is a bird's favorite ballet?